{"product_id":"god-is-patient-ive-tested-this-grumpy-raccoon-rosary-ornament","title":"God Is Patient I've Tested This Grumpy Raccoon Rosary Ornament","description":"\u003ch2\u003eGod Is Patient I’ve Tested This Grumpy Raccoon Rosary Ornament — Chubby Grumpy Raccoon Gold Bead Rosary Red Cross Pendant Rustic Wood Fence Snow Pine Branches Pine Cones Glowing Lantern Holly Red Berries Snow Ground God Is Patient I’ve Tested This Acrylic Ornament 🐼👇✝️🙏\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eShe knows this from personal experience. Extensive, repeated, thoroughly documented personal experience. \u003cstrong\u003eGod is patient. This is not theory. This is not theology heard secondhand. This has been tested. Consistently. Enthusiastically. Over many years. And He is still patient. God is patient. I’ve tested this.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHilarious. Perfectly honest. The most painfully relatable ornament in the entire collection — and the one that every self-aware Christian immediately recognizes as her own autobiography in ornament form. This wonderfully illustrated acrylic ornament delivers the funniest and truest observation about God’s character in the most perfectly cast visual — a round, gloriously grumpy raccoon sitting with arms folded and a deeply unimpressed expression, clutching a gold bead rosary with a red cross pendant, surrounded by snow-dusted pine branches, glowing lantern light, pine cones, and holly, against a rustic wood plank background. “God is patient.” arching across the top. “I’ve tested this.” landing in bold red below. The ornament that makes every person in the room laugh out loud, point at it, and then quietly whisper “that’s me.”\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003e✨ Design Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eChubby grumpy raccoon — center, seated, radiating maximum attitude\u003c\/strong\u003e — a wonderfully round and fluffy raccoon with the full grey-and-black raccoon mask markings, small rounded ears, and a striped ringed tail curling beside him — seated in the most relatable posture of resigned spiritual self-awareness — arms loosely folded, paws clasped around his rosary, and an expression of magnificent half-lidded grumpiness that communicates everything about having personally tested the patience of God on multiple occasions — and knowing it — the most accurate self-portrait available in ornament form\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eGold bead rosary with red cross pendant — held in both paws\u003c\/strong\u003e — a beautifully detailed gold bead rosary draped through the raccoon’s clasped paws with a red cross pendant hanging at the center — the prayer tool of someone who clearly needs it — and knows it — and is using it — the single detail that takes the ornament from funny to funny-and-true and makes the whole scene a complete theological statement in one image\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eRustic wood plank fence and arch — background\u003c\/strong\u003e — a weathered rustic wood plank fence and arched wood frame behind the raccoon — natural, slightly rough-edged, and giving the whole scene the quality of a backyard theological crisis happening in real time — the raccoon’s natural habitat elevated into a confessional\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSnow-dusted pine branches — left and right, full flanking\u003c\/strong\u003e — lush deep green pine branches heavy with white snow framing both sides of the ornament — the outdoor winter setting that places this grumpy, rosary-clutching raccoon firmly in a Christmas scene and somehow makes him even more endearing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePine cones — lower left and lower right\u003c\/strong\u003e — large natural pine cones nestled in the snow at the lower corners of the ornament — earthy, seasonal, and grounding the whimsical raccoon scene in something very real and very December\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eGlowing lantern — right side, warm amber light\u003c\/strong\u003e — a classic rustic lantern glowing with warm amber candlelight on the right side of the scene — the light in the dark — the quiet warmth of a God who remains patient even through everything the raccoon has put Him through — the most theologically loaded lantern in ornament history\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHolly leaves and red berries — lower right\u003c\/strong\u003e — deep green holly leaves with bright red berries in the lower right corner — traditional Christmas botanical detail nestled into the snow beside the lantern — cheerful, classic, and providing the most festive contrast to the raccoon’s deeply unimpressed energy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSnow ground — beneath the raccoon\u003c\/strong\u003e — a soft white snow ground under and around the raccoon — the winter setting completed — the raccoon is outside, in the snow, clutching his rosary, looking like this, and God is still patient\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e“God is patient.” in cream bold rounded serif — upper arch wood banner\u003c\/strong\u003e — the setup in warm cream and ivory bold rounded type arching across the top of the ornament on the rustic wood arch banner — delivered with the tone of a fact being stated — calmly, clearly, and with the faintest hint of someone who is about to tell you exactly how they know\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e“I’ve tested this.” in bold red italic — lower wood plank banner dominant\u003c\/strong\u003e — the punchline in the largest, boldest red italic type on the ornament — set into a rustic wood plank banner at the base — delivered with the full energy of personal testimony — the confession, the proof, the laugh, and the truth all at once\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCustom scalloped arch silhouette\u003c\/strong\u003e — a uniquely shaped acrylic ornament with a scalloped arch top and decorative scalloped lower edge following the botanical and snow base — completely distinctive and immediately recognizable on any tree\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eGold hanging cord\u003c\/strong\u003e — warm metallic gold braided loop at the top\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch3\u003e💰 Product Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMaterial: Premium clear acrylic — lightweight, shatter-resistant, fade-resistant print\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShape: Custom scalloped arch silhouette — uniquely shaped acrylic edges\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFinish: High-clarity whimsical illustration with grumpy raccoon, gold rosary, rustic wood plank setting, snow pine botanical framing, and glowing lantern warmth\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHanging: Gold braided cord included\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePacks: Available in Pack 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, or 10 — perfect for gifting multiples or stocking stuffers\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOccasion: Christmas tree ornament, funny Christian gift, funny faith ornament, raccoon lover gift, self-aware Christian gift, humor ornament, white elephant gift, Secret Santa gift, women’s ministry gift, church gift, friend gift, stocking stuffer, prayer warrior gift with humor\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch3\u003e🎁 Perfect Gift For\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe self-aware Christian who knows exactly how many times she has tested God’s patience and has stopped counting. The friend who sends “me” memes about Biblical characters and raccoons with equal enthusiasm. The woman in the small group who always says the thing everyone else was thinking. The one who reads “God is patient” and immediately thinks “yep, I know, I’ve checked.” Give this to the one who is honest about her spiritual journey — loudly, joyfully, and with no intention of stopping. \u003cstrong\u003eGod is patient. I’ve tested this. Extensively. He passes every time.\u003c\/strong\u003e 🐼✝️🙏\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Sunshine","offers":[{"title":"Acrylic Ornament \/ Pack 1","offer_id":52620427198695,"sku":"TUAN-9708299682023-Acrylic-Ornament-Pack-1","price":21.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Acrylic Ornament \/ Pack 2","offer_id":52620427231463,"sku":"TUAN-9708299682023-Acrylic-Ornament-Pack-2","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Acrylic Ornament \/ Pack 3","offer_id":52620427264231,"sku":"TUAN-9708299682023-Acrylic-Ornament-Pack-3","price":35.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Acrylic Ornament \/ Pack 5","offer_id":52620427296999,"sku":"TUAN-9708299682023-Acrylic-Ornament-Pack-5","price":47.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Acrylic Ornament \/ Pack 8","offer_id":52620427329767,"sku":"TUAN-9708299682023-Acrylic-Ornament-Pack-8","price":65.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Acrylic Ornament \/ Pack 10","offer_id":52620427362535,"sku":"TUAN-9708299682023-Acrylic-Ornament-Pack-10","price":77.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0801\/0242\/4807\/files\/MK3_93805600-3236-488d-a682-d53b68c5a208.png?v=1789180098","url":"https:\/\/gruntix.com\/products\/god-is-patient-ive-tested-this-grumpy-raccoon-rosary-ornament","provider":"Gruntix","version":"1.0","type":"link"}